Grace, forgiveness and more grace

I was asleep...or was I, I knew I'd seen a picture, more like a clip, a small vision maybe.

It was so real, I was cross, I was scolding my girls over something or other and as I did so, I saw their expressions, their attitude change. I saw their hearts harden through my un reasonableness, it brought me great sadness, and I prayed Lord, what am I doing wrong and why am I doing this? and He spoke and said, you are not moving in love, you are moving in justice, My grace abounds in grace and love. In justice you have judgement and condemnation.

I woke up feeling physically churned up. I prayed some more and asked for guidance. He took me to the parable of the servant, who had much to be forgiven, was forgiven all his debts by his master, but refused to forgive his fellow servant his small debt, I was floored!!!

I had put myself in that place, though I know I am not perfect, much to the contrary, I was expecting perfection from my wee ones. 

What I saw was so real, I knew it was a lesson to be learnt, and quickly. 

I shared this with my youngest son Bobby who pointed me in the direction of a small book by John and Caroll Arnott, called Grace and forgiveness. A small precious, priceless gem of a book. I Read it in the small hours last night. In there was my story, my keys, my direction, come back to Jesus, He has forgiven you much, so walk in grace and forgiveness. Let Jesus be the Gardner and turn over the soil of my heart, dig up old hardened, bitter roots and let Him release showers of refreshing healing rain of forgiveness. 

And so I did, and will have to do forever and a day, till I meet Him face to face.

if you are like me in any way, if you are frustrated sometimes about being a stay at home Mama, read this book. I said to a precious friend today, I'm an eagle, I'm tired of being a mama hen, but there is a time and place for different training and both are foundational and invaluable, so my Heaven is also a place i call home, and i can be the one that make the difference in it. 

It's here that I learn, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control. It's here, at home,  where my boot camp is. 

It's at home where He trusts me with ALL things precious, it is here that i am trained, refined and adorned with grace and love for the journey ahead. 

It is at home where hearts are softened, lives built up and faith renewed. It is at home that I learn to be more like Jesus. 

Love love and more love, grace, grace and more grace, His way.

Be blessed today in your homes, and wherever you are

Xxxxx

S